Letting go.

There is never a good way to say goodbye. Losing someone from your life is often one of the most difficult things that we ever experience. Letting go takes a toll and no matter what we say a failed relationship leaves us feeling empty. I don’t know what love is, I don’t know how to quantify what I feel for a woman when I do fall in love. Creaky metaphors and sickly similes don’t seem enough, in fact they feel contrived, and a cheap way to express what is, in many ways, inexpressible.

 

When you let go of the person that you thought would be the guiding light you lose a possible future. You let go of their company, their strengths and weakness and you miss the fact that somebody cares for you, that someone has your back. You miss those little texts and you miss those little smiles. Memories crowd the mind and all the small things remind you of her. Ghosts are in the small details. You realise you have to let go of the time you both sat on a bench in Trinity College and watched the cricket game as you talked about all the things to come.  You let go of the times you discussed your favourite film or book.  You let go of the trust you had for each other and the way you opened up about your fears, your dreams and your hopes.

 

The above sounds false don’t it? Nothing more than a trite attempt to describe my emotions. Maybe I am just a bad writer. What disturbs me is that maybe, just maybe, you have only one true love and maybe that true love is gone.  If that is the case, what are memories but pain? What is hope?  When do you let go? If this were a Hollywood romance the protagonist would let go in some hugely dramatic way, a way which would give us all a satisfying resolution.  Life isn’t like that. I let go looking out the window of a bus and realised there is no such thing as a satisfying resolution.

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  1. What is there to say to this? Nothing really because it would be a programmed response. Contrived almost. It suffices to say I hope you are wrong and that there is more than one person you can feel this for. I also hope I never have to find out.

  2. Bit of a failed blog I feel but wanted to branch out a little.

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