Archive for May, 2014

She Speaks


So, I lied somewhat in one of my posts. It was the one about recording and more specifically the moving on part. I ended on an optimistic note but in truth I had thought about giving up. I was wasted and spent. Music is beautiful but sometimes it cuts. All the time spent, all the hours of hope, all the nerves and all the times you lost when you should have won. I looked at my bass and thought I can’t even play this thing why am I codding myself? But God it had always been there and especially on those nights when I thought all was lost and that I would never smile again. I remembered the time not long after my mother had succumbed to cancer when my friend Mark made sure we got together to jam. It restored normality. How could I let that go? I very nearly did but the spark wouldn’t die no matter how I tried to dampen the fucker and that is why I lied in that post because that lie was the beginning of the long crawl back.

I get the feeling (and I could be wrong) that people who aren’t involved in music probably read the above and think: ‘Jesus stop being melodramatic’. However, music, as cheesy and clichéd as this sounds, is like a religion to me. Not in the sense that I worship it but in the sense that it gives me solace. I haven’t been in a long-term relationship in a good while so the longest relationships I have had have been in bands. You get the picture, it means a lot! With that I started to claw my way back and wanted to find the fun again and to be clear I had lost the joy, no one in my previous band had caused it, that responsibility lies with me. Now, music is fundamentally about people and the way in which people interact and I started to think about that. I wanted something different than what I had worked with previously and as luck would have it the band I was thinking about needed a bass player.

I would love to tell you that I made a great first impression with She Speaks and that I was a consummate professional. I would love to tell you that. I bowled into practice with a poxy guitar amp that could fit in your pocket and no one could hear me. But as I said music is about people and the ways in which the atmosphere changes when those people congregate and it was there in that first practice. I could feel it. At this juncture I could tell you how talented Rebecca (vocals), Wayne (guitar) and Skip (drums) are, and they are super talented, but what I really want to say is that we all click. The jams are fun and we have a laugh but there is a seriousness too. I love the songs, I can’t wait for everyone to hear them and I think they are really special. Playing together and pushing the air in the room is as good as it gets and what we do together has been great so far but it is just the beginning. We are mapping out the landscape as we go and I am learning anew but I am also relearning what I had lost, Jesus I even got a bass solo into one of the tunes! Rebecca, Sarah and Wayne: thank you, for a long time it felt like I was away…finally I feel like I have returned.