In the gloaming heart

 

In the child’s field, before his fame
innocence and experience stake their claim
the soldier’s path is chosen
blood signifies the man.

Love, it finds it’s own sweet voice
and echoes out across the void
that riddle rests within the heart
forever to remain.

From Dun Sgathaich the warrior rides
to crest the heights of a morning sky,
three daughters raise the sounds of war
three sons to kill the kings.

Strapped upon a rock to stand
to hold back that dark grasping hand
yet, Black Morrigan’s cacophonous caw
heralds the fading day.

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Watches

The digital watch flashes
catching my eye.
A nurse whispers to you ‘it means he’s not blind’.
All the seconds from here to then are taunting the living,
a death’s head moth flies to the light.

Hearing again the beep on the hour
(It means I’m not deaf, you let out a sigh)
All the hours run faster and faster.
If we could catch it, then we’d never die.

That patch on my head?
It means I’m a fighter, a scar
from a battle a long time ago.
You carried me then but I was much lighter
I’d carry you now but where would we go?

Isn’t it funny how we seek
some type of answer
to the ebb, to the flow
that makes up our lives?
Ain’t it funny how digital watches,
lighting the way
means we’re not blind.

Initiation (a Jungian dream comes full circle)

 

Once we talked about
the ways that we would rise,
the cartography of the heart
textures of wrong and right.
The prerogative of the young
is to be myth and sing their own song.

We thought that hope
would not be tamed and caged
that everything would remain
and looking out at the stars
they were almost like notes on a stave
we could not yet read, we could not yet play.

Destiny was there to be fulfilled
we had all our time to hunt, to kill
talking shit on the Cruachan Hill.
Of politics, pride, bravado and lies
unattainable girls, the unlived life
day chasing to the depth of midnight.

Now everything is January coloured
and the skies do weep
we feel the ebb, the flow
the surface shifting beneath
I see the fire dim in your eyes
knowing too it has dimmed in mine.

What love is this my old friend?
Two young boys, now two older men
Oh I never thought this weight
would be so much that we might break.
Turning to me now, you say:
‘I know how you felt on that day’
Nothing more needs to be said
our dreams now belong with our sacred dead.

Den Haag

image

Den Haag Centraal heaves as we wait
two lost men hanging on to loss
condemned to share these days
trains slip by.
Fast food left festering on a plate
cigarettes on an endless loop
life passes in a gradual way
time slips by.
Both of us on a road outward
running from a thousand cliches
in the crowd we stray,
two alone.

That feeling in my gut
facing down a past
in which I nearly, ever so gently,
drowned.
That feeling in my heart
head on at last
that nearly, ever so violently,
saw me down.

Den Haag Centraal a beginning of a full stop
two men trying to find themselves
jigsaw souls cast upon a floor
rain passed by.

Them

You think that you and I
are the same
that somehow a shared moment
means a commonality.
But you mistake my smile
for passivity
my gentle nod as obsequiousness
you will always belong to ‘them’
outside me forever
Marked as other.
Know that I can be as cold as an Irish summer
with a memory as long as our winter.

Ed Wood

Our lives they take us where they will
the heart it must obey its call
we trample over God until
God bends to that which conquers all.
Siren like, the dream it sings
upon her rocks to dash our hopes
the sweetness of the chase begins,
a vision which surpasses awe.
When darkness can’t illuminate
the air departs like dying breath
Upon that sigh again we rise
The bitter sun laughs as we fall.
God in man. The man in God.
Yet the devil takes the good,
the father, son, unholy ghosts
me, my nightmares and Ed Wood.

I was thinking about Ed Wood and the futility of following the dream of art and yet it sings…

Last orders.

Human beings love order. In fact our brain actively seeks order in chaos, for example it is one of the reasons your mind sees a face in inanimate objects or on patterned wallpaper and it is more than likely why we are always looking for a superfood to destroy cancer (I eat this therefore, I won’t get that). It sounds reasonable to look for that order but it can have a negative effect. Here is one that annoys me: be positive and that will help you survive cancer! Great isn’t it? Except when you do that, and it doesn’t matter whether you mean it, it means that you are saying that the person who dies of cancer wasn’t positive enough and ergo it is their fault that they died. Order like that isn’t so friendly anymore is it? Which brings me to history. We love order in history. The example that springs to mind is Hitler. We have all asked: ‘Why did he hate the Jews?’ Off we pop looking for order and we look for the pattern. Hitler was a failed artist, he was probably picked on by a Jew, he had one testicle and a micropenis and hypospadias.So, that solves that (Jesus must have been a fantastic artist, been hung like a horse and had polyorchadism though cause he was so good) of course, this lets humanity off the hook. Everyone knows it was all religions fault (because there was never a political ideology that was atheistic and sent people off to, oh a gulag or had show trials or ran over people with tanks and had a one child policy…ever because if there was well you know there would be memes about it wouldn’t there?) Realistically, the reason that Shoah occurred was due to religious, economic, social, political and cultural issues and prejudices that had existed in Europe for centuries. Making a snappy YouTube video explaining that is difficult, looking at the genital deformities of Hitler isn’t apparently. Human beings like the answer to be in the recent past as it is more ordered.

So, why am I writing this? Let’s be frank this is the Internet and I lost about 60% of the five to six people that read my posts already. Well you know why I’m writing it, you’ve seen the news. I also want those that are more moral than I to see that I care, I swear I do, I know stuff too I didn’t mean to change my picture to add a French tri-colour there a while back I’m like you too. I watched that YouTube video I promise I did, I know it was Rothstein or Rothschild or whatever Berg that started it all I know Israel is the real bad one, damn it lads and ladies I swear I knew it was them. They took land that didn’t belong to them, of course their people were gassed, starved, left to rot in their own vomit, shit, piss, castrated, mutilated, shot, buried alive etc etc shush now though dear reader I won’t point out that most Europeans didn’t want them, we mustn’t look too far back or our sense of order gets eroded.